Back To Life, Back To Reality ...

    I returned back to school around a week later and realized, even though I needed a break mentally, academically I was suffering. I came back to the Residence Halls, locking my emotions inside so people wouldn't feel pity for me. My basketball family signed a beautiful card for me, welcoming my return and I tried to get my life back in order. Luckily, I was doing good in most of my classes, and it was an easy load or it would have been tragic. Unfortunately, in mathematics, I not only had a teacher who couldn't teach so well, but I also had a teacher who couldn't connect with students ethically and he refused to give me extra help. I went to the classes each week trying to get back into the swing of things and I realized as I was chasing this, it kept slipping away when it was in my grasp. I couldn't hold on to it long enough to climb aboard.
    One day when I couldn't take the stress anymore I went to the tutoring center and asked for help. I started getting tutored once a week during my free time to help me get ready for my final. It was already the end of November and the semester was winding down so I knew I had an enormous amount of studying to do so I could at least pass. The day of the final came and I took it to the best of my ability. I can't remember if I left the final feeling confident, but even with tutoring I didn't feel this was my strongest comeback. See, I have a tendency of wanting to prove people wrong, and I wanted to pass that test with flying colors so the professor could look back and say, "Geez, she didn't need my help." Needless to say, I'm not sure of what I got on my final, but I passed the class with a measly C. The only C on my transcript to this day and it haunts me. 
    I always try to separate my personal life from things that need to be handled but I failed this time and it made me feel weak. The semester had come to a close and I was home for winter break. I didn't do much except go to Maryland, visit family, hang with high school friends, hang out with my boyfriend and just take time to get ready for the next semester. I knew I wanted the Spring to be 1000 times better than the fall, I made a vow to myself that it would.