Who Would Have Thought? Surely Not I.

   As the months went by and nothing more eventful happened in my freshman year except me becoming manager of the Women's Basketball Team, a day came that I never thought would come. I remember the night before perfectly, I was with one of the players, a good friend of mine and we had a long night so I ended up staying in her room on the floor. I had a dream that someone was telling me their grandma died and for some reason I opened my eyes and looked at my phone. The crazy part is my phone was on silent and I didn't know my phone would be ringing but my stepdad called me and said, "We're outside." I didn't understand so I said, "Ok." I then looked at the time and saw it was 7:00 in the morning. When I saw the time I felt something was wrong so I woke my friend up and told her I was leaving because my family was here and I didn't feel right. She said she hoped everything was ok and I kept it moving. 
   I got to the parking lot and I saw my step-dad outside of the car smiling and my little brother in the passenger seat smiling also. This messed me up because that gave me reassurance that everything was okay. The words I heard when he hugged me wasn't what I expected to hear. He said, "She's gone, she passed away this morning." I remember falling to the ground and just crying, I didn't care who saw me. She passed away on a Thursday and I was going to visit her that Saturday. All he told me when I said this was, "You wouldn't of wanted to see her like that."
   The next couple of days were a blur, I remember meeting my mom back in NY to make the funeral plans, looking for my grandma in the funeral home that same day and my family having to keep an eye on me so I didn't run off to find her, and I remember just thinking I was in a dream.
   I had a Sociology paper due that I still found enough strength to email so I didn't miss out on too much, but I missed around a week and a half of school. My first semester of freshman year took a turn for the worse but I told myself I would keep striving to make HER happy. I got my first and only C that semester in Math because my head just wasn't there. I know I succumbed to a state of mind that was an out of body experience. I didn't do much except go to class and go back to my room. She passed away in November and there were only a few more weeks left in the semester when I returned. Who knows when the real me returned.